Have a Final Fantasy Christmas
by The Phantom of the Death Star
Summary: Think you might be obsessed with Final Fantasy VII? Well, here's how you know for sure... Yes, it’s another “You know you’re obsessed when” list. Forgive me of my sin and just enjoy the list.


FFVII Christmas

You know you are obsessed with FFVII when…

* * *

Pre-Xmas:

-Your entire Christmas list contains a total of 1 item not directly related to FFVII (a TV for your room, so you can hook up your PS2)

-You asked for Sephiroth/Vincent/Tifa etc. from Santa Claus.

-You also asked for your favorite pairing.

-You don't actually believe in Santa Claus; no one but an industrious Moogle could get around the world that fast.

-And reindeer? Ha. They're totally flying chocobos.

-Actually, you aren't so sure about the moogle. It might be the Chocobo Sage…

-Or Bugenhagen.

-Anyway, the idea of a Coca Cola advertisement breaking into your house and putting candy in your socks is creepy.

-You realize that it's snowing!! You are immediately outside, searching for the Northern Crater.

-Or the Knowlespole.

-Or the Chocobo Sage.

-However, you remember that you have to be careful not to get hypothermia and so you do squats occasionally to keep your body temperature up.

-You try to destroy your sibling's snowman/snow fort with your green marble.

-You decide that the fire materia is a dud and try to summon Ifrit with a red marble.

-When engaged in a snowball fight with the entire neighborhood, you attempt to summon Shiva to your team.

-You build a big, round snow fort and dub it "the Northern Crater"

-You sit inside it, waiting for Cloud and the others to come and _just try_ to defeat you!

-Everyone ignores you.

-Your snow angels have only one wing…

-Except for one of them, which has two wings on one side.

-You sculpt a perfect SnowMog, pompom on a little branch and all.

-You have a tantrum when younger neighborhood kids knock it over.

-You start shouting "KUPO!" at them.

-You steal your brother's snowboard and attempt to ride it down the small hill near your house, dodging trees and moogles all the way.

-Unfortunately, you are as bad in real life as you were in the game and the "moogle"'s mothers don't seem too happy with you.

-You claim that Sephiroth did it and run.

* * *

Xmas Eve:

-Your Christmas tree _had_ silver tinsel on it… and your room has now been decorated beautifully.

-Your tree now has several suspicious-looking, purple-colored, apple-shaped ornaments on it…

-You are giving other people gifts related to FFVII.

-You attempt to light the fire with a green marble by shouting "FIRAGA!!" at it.

-Once this fails, you search for your Ifrit summon and realize that your marbles are LOST!

-You immediately go outside to find them, in the pitch dark, in the snow, in your pajamas.

-When offered a lantern, you insist on bringing a kitchen knife along too.

-And walking very, _very_ slowly.

* * *

Xmas Morning:

-You wake up Christmas morning to find Palmer stuck in your chimney.

-You attempt to launch him out using your infamous green marble.

-You finally get him unstuck when your parents wake up and ask what all the racket was about.

-You explain, but nobody believes you.

-Upon examining the presents, you have a fit of hysterical laughter at a gift wrapped in silver with a pink ribbon.

-You _refuse_ to cut the pink ribbon citing that it's 'disrespectful' and spend twenty minutes untying it instead.

-You were disappointed upon receiving a Sephiroth figurine instead of the real thing.

-You were also disappointed that your PSP isn't the ice silver edition.

-You are also sad that you didn't get the guide for Crisis Core, (it's the only way you'd be able to play it in hard mode)

-Your most exciting gift is one of the FFVII spinoffs. You sleep with it under your pillow for the next four days.

-You were also given a large white/black piece of crystal which you refuse to let anyone touch for the rest of the day.

-You are terrified by your older brother's reaction to getting a chemistry set.

-You decide that his girlfriend must be informed immediately.

-You also decide that the cat must be kept in your room.

-You refuse to let him anywhere near you.

-Or your figurine collection.

_-Especially_ not Turk Vincent.

-You tie the pink ribbon on your cat and declare that "This is what Aeris and Nanaki's kid would have looked like."

* * *

Author comments: That's all I've got... Forgive me for writing a list and I hope you enjoied the brilliant humor I attempted to put into this story. I hope you'll accept it as sort of a story in list format... Merry Christmas or whatever.


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